Sunday, May 15, 2011

Well That Changes Everything!

Ok so big change of plans as far as running goes. Turns out, I'm pregnant. Yes you read that right. I'll be 6 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow. Yes, it was unexpected but we were planning on trying in January so nothing really changes, we just fast forward all of our plans. If you are trying to do the math, yes, that means I was pregnant while I ran Lincoln. Just barely pregnant, but pregnant. Since we weren't planning for this, I didn't even remember when my LMP was. I didn't even realize I was late. Last week, I started thinking about when I should expect old AF. I racked my brain but couldn't think of when I started last. I knew it was either the 1st or 2nd week of April but, even after staring at a calender and thinking about all the events I'd been to in April, I just couldn't remember. I did remember having ovulation pain (this started happening after Darwin was born) but I also couldn't remember when that was. I didn't get too concerned until I realized that I had been here at home when I'd had the ovulation pain but the Lincoln Marathon was two weeks ago (three now, I've been working on this post for a week). That meant it had been longer than 2 weeks since I ovulated. When I realized this, I figured I was mistaken. I've gotten several side eyes from people when I tell them I can feel myself ovulate. Maybe it really was just the gas pain they suggested it was. Thing is though, I had a huge ovarian cyst that was very painful when I was pregnant with Darwin. This pain is in the same spot and feels very similar. Also, it happens around day 14 of my cycle so, I think it really is ovulation pain. Finally, it hit me that I needed to just take a pregnancy test. Brian was working a weekend shift so I loaded up Darwin and headed to Walgreens. He was out of infant motrin anyway. I grabbed a cheap store brand test and headed home. It dawned on me that it was the middle of the morning and I had already had about 32 oz of water. This would be diluted, far from first of the morning, urine. I gave it a shot anyway, I mean there was no way I was pregnant, right? Well, I could actually see a faint line. I know, they say a line is a line but this was so faint that I couldn't really trust my own eyes. Now I was starting to freak out though. Was it possible I was pregnant? I loaded Darwin back up and went to another pharmacy to get a better quality test. No way I would show my face in the same one and buy yet another pregnancy test. Too Juno. Besides, it is embarrassing enough buying one in the first place. Even though I am an adult and married, it just seems like such a weird violation of my privacy having to basically tell a stranger that I might be knocked up. Anyway,when I got home, I took it and it turned unmistakably positive immediately. I was standing in the bathroom while Darwin sat on the floor tearing up some junk mail. I was shaking. I couldn't believe it. I didn't even know how far along I was. I snapped a picture of the test with my cell phone and sent it in a text message to Brian. I didn't know what else to do. There was no way I could wait until he got home. I didn't trust my voice to call him. It was my only choice. He immediately texted back "What?!".

After a few days, the shock wore off for both of us. At least that initial, whole body shaking can't catch your breath, shock. I finally remembered when my LMP was and figured out that I was 4 weeks and 6 days pregnant and my due date would be January 15th. The Houston Marathon, which is being held in conjunction with the Olympic Marathon Trials, is the same day. Brian had already signed up for the race. He was waiting to hear if he got in. Talk about bad timing. Oh well, worst case scenario, we're out $125. Not a big deal in the long run. My running plans will obviously change. Again, not a huge deal. I'm so glad I was able to get a great marathon in before this pregnancy because with two small kiddos, there's just no way I could find the time to train. Not for a few years anyway. So, we are slowly adjusting to the idea of having another baby. I am a control freak and at first, I vacillated between annoyance that this didn't happen on my terms and being grateful for the surprise. Not getting to do a few of the running events I had planned actually made me tear up a little. Hormones. In the end, I've certainly settled on grateful. In the grand scheme of things, it isn't a big deal that I don't get to finish out the Grand Prix series, do another marathon this fall or run my XC 10K. Also, the clock was ticking. I'll be 35 next year and, while many women have perfectly uneventful pregnancies at that age and beyond, my risks do increase as my age goes up. Might as well take advantage of my "youth" while I can, LOL! Money wise we are good and even my leave at work looks like I'll be able to swing 12 weeks off after this LO gets here. It is still early and, due to my history of miscarriage, we are cautiously optimistic. I doubt we'll tell anyone IRL until at least the 2nd trimester. Maybe even longer unless my belly starts giving me away. There are a couple of you that read this blog that know me IRL and are Facebook friends. Please, keep this quiet for now if you don't mind.

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