15 Months

Have you ever done anything every single day for 15 months? Other than the obvious things like breathing, eating, walking, etc... I really can't think of anything. Even with running I take at least one day off per week. When you are nursing a baby, you don't get a day off. For me, nursing was a fabulous experience and I really never wished for a day off but now that it has come to a close, it is crazy to think that I did it every single day, many times each day.

About a week ago, I sat down to nurse Darwin like I always do right before bed time. Instead of turning toward me to nurse, he grabbed the paci out of my hand, shoved it in his mouth and promptly fell asleep. He then proceeded to sleep straight through the night so well, that I didn't wake him the next morning to nurse the way I usually do. The next night, I gave him his paci and put him down in the crib. He fell straight to sleep. Once I realized this was a trend, I got very sad. I was glad that he decided to wean himself but I wish I had realized that our last nursing session would be the last. The next couple of days I got pretty engorged. All the websites I found said to either pump a little bit or let your baby nurse a little. I had already packed the pump away in the attic and letting Darwin nurse seemed like a bad idea. What if he decided he didn't want to quit? Finally, after 3 days of no nursing, he woke up in the middle of the night. When I picked him up, he fell right to sleep in my arms. I dream fed him one last time and thought back over the last 15 months. I got to say a tearful good bye to our nursing relationship. It was a sweet few moments that I'm so glad I got to have with him. Not only did it allow me to say good bye to this time in our lives, but it really got rid of the engorgement.

When I was pregnant I thought about all the amazing memories I would make once my baby was here. I never imagined that one of the greatest experiences would be nursing. Breastfeeding had a profound affect on me and I'm so glad that I chose to do it.